Kissing Me Without You
by Samantha5
Summary: "I know I should walk away as they start kissing, but I’m inexplicably frozen in my place..." Dawson/Joey angst. Please R
1. Joey's POV

****

Kissing Me Without You

Disclaimer: I do not own Dawson's Creek, these characters, or have contact or relationships with any cast, crew, or production staff of Dawson's Creek. Dawson's Creek is the sole property of Columbia TriStar Television. I'm using these characters out of pure hobby. Any copyright infringement is unintentional, and this story is not meant for any monetary gain.

****

Setting: This story takes place in Season Four, somewhere in between Mind Games and Admissions

****

Couple: Dawson/Joey angst involving Pacey and Gretchen

Part 1: Joey's POV 

A low growl escapes from the hood of my old truck as I stop it in Pacey's driveway. My eyes fix on the Jeep parked behind Gretchen's red and white striped truck. For a moment I wish that it wasn't there, that he wasn't inside the house with her. 

As I walk up to the porch I can see blue light flickering off of the television screen. Those glass doors don't offer much privacy; I think and take a few steps closer to the house. I stop at the foot of the stairs, noticing how dark the room inside is. My eyes scan the panes until they stop on two shadowy figures sitting on the couch. Dawson and Gretchen are watching a movie and I can sense her boredom as she shifts awkwardly in her spot. They're sitting close to each other, but he seems too wrapped up in the movie to even remember that she's there. I watch her shift in her seat again and she looks to Dawson, wanting to touch him. He feels her eyes on him and looks away from the screen. She smiles. 

"What?" I read his lips as he smiles at her. She says something to him, reaching for the remote control and turning off the TV. His face turns confused. "What was that for?" She puts a finger to his lips, silencing him as she moves herself on top of his lap, straddling him. She puts her hands on his cheeks and brings her lips down to his. 

I know I should walk away as they start kissing, but I'm inexplicably frozen in my place. His body relaxes, sinking back into the cushions. His hands find their place on the skin of her lower back where her shirt has risen. She leans close to him, so close that their chests touch. I feel my heartbeat quicken. I remember how it feels to kiss him and I suddenly miss it. His kiss is slow and passionate, deep and emotional. It's different than Pacey's. Dawson takes his time, tastes the kiss, savors it. Pacey devours it as if he's starving. I long to be tasted and savored. 

He looks so relaxed as he kisses her, his lips rising from hers every few moments before going back for more. The nerves on my lips and tongue tingle lightly and I imagine that I'm in Gretchen's place. He's running his hands around to the front of my shirt and carefully lifting it over my head. His eyes are scanning the curves of my body and his lips are planting gentle, sweet kisses on the softest skin of my neck. I'm entangling my fingers in his golden hair, closing my eyes as he pushes my bra strap off of my shoulder and kisses the skin. He feels comfortable but extremely excited, taking his time, teasing me. I arch my back, aching for more. Electricity courses through my body at his touch, the skin of his palms is soft against my back, his fingers easily unclipping my bra. I feel free now, unembarrassed in the sudden exposure. I trust him, and I know he enjoys what he sees as a smile paints across his face. I smirk and roll my eyes, covering my chest with my arms. "Don't look." I flirt. 

"But…" He peels my arms up, "that's not fair."

"Shhh." I kiss his forehead and place my hands on the back of his neck as he lowers his face to meet my chest. 

"Jo?" Pacey's voice makes me jump and I turn around to greet him.

"Hey." Despite my displeasure in his presence, I grin at him, walking over and planting a soft kiss on his lips. I feel hot and shaken but hide it easily. "You may not want to go much closer to the house, what's happening on that couch isn't too pretty." I joke.

A sickened expression spreads across his face. "You were watching?"

I force a laugh. "God no. I got here only a minute before you." 

Pacey smiles. "Vamanos, then. We don't want to disturb them."

"No, of course not." I smile and head towards his car. But my grin falls as soon as I'm no longer in Pacey's sight. Sick as it sounds, I want to be back there watching them, wishing and imagining that it were me on top of him. I put my hands to my cheeks and feel their heat in the chilly air. Getting into Pacey's car, my eyes wander back towards the house. I can not see inside so I can only imagine. She's feeling his lips on her skin, his fingers through her hair, and the pressure of his body pushed up against hers. She's the object of his affection and attention, and must be reveling in it. I would revel in it if I could be in that position. I close my eyes as Pacey starts up the car, the vibrations of the old automobile traveling from my toes to my head. She must be feeling the vibrations of his body, the pulsations of his flesh running up and down her spine. I shiver slightly at the thought. 

"Are you okay, Jo?" Pacey asks, glancing at me before pulling the car out of the driveway and onto the street.

"Mmm hmm. Just fine." I whisper, nodding lightly. 

He's driving somewhere but I'm not paying attention. A picture of Dawson and Gretchen is painted on the inside of my eyelids. Like a movie, their actions replay in my mind. I'm getting off on it, on the thought of it. I want to jump out of the car and run back to the house to watch him, to watch her, imagining all the while, that it were me. 

. 


	2. Dawson's POV

****

Kissing Me Without You

Disclaimer: I do not own Dawson's Creek, these characters, or have contact or relationships with any cast, crew, or production staff of Dawson's Creek. Dawson's Creek is the sole property of Columbia TriStar Television. I'm using these characters out of pure hobby. Any copyright infringement is unintentional, and this story is not meant for any monetary gain.

****

Setting: This story takes place in Season Four, somewhere in between Mind Games and Admissions

****

Couple: Dawson/Joey angst involving Pacey and Gretchen

Part 2: Dawson's POV

A cool breeze from the Capeside harbor flutters across the back of my neck. I shove my hands in the pockets of my black jacket, walking along the docks I've walked on my entire life. Tonight the docks are different though. My view has changed from the waters to two people sitting atop a sailboat anchored in the bay. 

I figure I might as well say hello and begin walking closer to the boat - to their boat, the boat they built while I was involved with myself. It shouldn't matter anymore, though. It hasn't mattered for awhile, I realize as my eyes move to the boards of the dock. So then why is it suddenly mattering now? 

When I look up, I see Joey sitting leaned against the side of the boat, her legs bent at the knees and open. Pacey has placed himself nicely in between them, his hands holding her inner thighs. Seeing Joey like that, I feel something inside of me twitch. It doesn't look right or natural. Joey doesn't open herself up so easily. But obviously she does, I think. She lets Pacey in in a way that I was never allowed. 

"What exactly do you think you're doing?" I can read her lips even from this distance. There is a slight sparkle in her eye as she flashes him that priceless grin of hers. 

"Exactly what you want me to." He replies huskily, smirks, and leans towards her.

"Ah-ah-ah…not so fast." Placing a finger on his lips, she halts his motions. Pacey's eyes, filled with desire, flick up to meet Joey's. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"I'm thinking that you're beautiful…" He whispers, leaning closer with every word. In my mind I am thinking the same exact things about her. It's just that I am not at liberty to say them. "I'm thinking that you are so smart and that I'm so lucky." His lips hover over hers. I watch Joey's chest rise and fall in desire as her eyes slip shut. "The one that rises above the rest though…" I can predict his next words. I whisper them out loud in unison with Pacey, "is that I love you." 

I swallow as I see their lips meet passionately. Her body curves up into Pacey's as if he has just dipped her in a passionate dance. I shouldn't be watching, but this is a whole side of Joey I've never seen before. She's tough with him, hot, rough, and passionate. Pacey seems to cause girls to behave like that. He causes them to let themselves go, to let him have them however he pleases. I don't hold that power. With me, girls feel safe and comfortable. They call me sweet, loving, affectionate, and soft. Maybe I am all those things, but for once I'd like to make a girl lose herself and all of her senses in me. I'd like to make her go wild. 

Joey's hands grasp his neck as she kisses him feverishly. He runs his hands up and down her thighs, his fingers curling around the curves, squeezing her legs in obvious pleasure. For a moment I almost feel angry at him for touching her like that. What right does he have? He should be gentle with Joey, with my sweet, fragile Joey. My Joey? Now I feel like hitting myself. She's anything but mine. 

He pushes himself up against her and I suddenly want to be that close, feeling the soft skin of her stomach on my palms, exploring the depths of her mouth with my tongue. My hands curl up into fists inside my jacket pockets as I try to imagine what it feels like to hold onto her so tightly. In my mind I place myself between her legs and she pulls me as close to her as possible, her fingers carefully plucking each button of my shirt out of its hole. I draw in a breath of air as the wind and her full lips hit the skin of my chest, sending shivers through my body. She kneads her palms into my abs as she explores the contours of my chest with her mouth. I lean back, allowing her more room. She leans forward, and I love the way her body feels pushed up against mine. My fingers run through her hair and down her back. With my hands holding her ass I shove her body even closer, so tight against mine that it leaves barely any room to move. Lifting her head from my chest, I bring her lips to mine and kiss her furiously, my hands quickly finding their way underneath her bra. She lets out a small groan and arches her back at my touch. My eyes open slightly and I smile at her pleasure. I'm sure she can feel my body throbbing underneath her as I can feel hers. We both long to remove the layer of fabric between us, but we won't, not here, where anyone could see us.

The sudden loud clicking of heels against the wood shakes me from my fantasy, and I turn around to see Gretchen walking towards me. I wish she weren't there to disrupt me from my daydream as I force a smile and kiss her lightly. 

"Did I keep you waiting?" She asks and takes my hand from out of my coat pocket. I hope she doesn't notice the thin layer of sweat that's formed. 

"No." I answer simply, shaking my head as we begin walking away from Pacey and Joey's boat. 

"You okay?" She stops walking, tilts her head, and looks at me. "You seem a little…flustered."

I force myself to chuckle. "Flustered? I'm just kind of tired, that's all." 

"Alright." She nods and we resume our stroll. 

I glance over my shoulder. The boat is now nothing but a fuzzy figure in the distance and I can only imagine what they are doing. I return my gaze in front of me but the only image I'm seeing is Pacey and Joey pressed into each other, his hands on her inner thighs, then her ass, then her breasts; her mouth on his chest, and palms against his stomach. Their actions arouse me, the thought of their actions arouse me. I want to let go of Gretchen's hand and walk right back to where I was standing so that I can watch her, watch him, imagining all the while, that it were me


End file.
